The truth is finally out....

I couldn't update my blog for awhile we wanted to tell our families before they read it on here. Our adoption plans are on hold for now because I'm pregnant! It was a complete shock but we couldn't be more excited. We did meet with AL on Nov. 30th and told Naomi. She was super sweet about it and let us know that if we wanted to continue, we could. However, we put our plans on hold and told her we'd be back if (God forbid) anything happened or if we decided to adopt our second child.

Here is the story about how we found out (sorry in advance if there is TMI):

Mom, Sarah and I went shopping the day after Thanksgiving. I started spotting and was so happy because my period was late and I was starting to get very cranky and was very bloated. But when I got home, it had stopped. So I was going to call my doctor on Monday to ask for Provera (it forces you to start). However, before the doctor will prescribe it, they always ask if you've taken a pregnancy test. So I thought I'd save myself a phone call and take one before I called. So when Nick and I went back out to shop Friday night, we stopped by the Dollar Store and picked up a pregnancy test. I forgot to take it upstairs with me Friday night and was too lazy to go back downstairs to get it. I remembered to take it upstairs Saturday night. The plan was to take the test, go change into my pajamas, go back to read the test, throw it away and go to bed. However, after I took the test and before I left the bathroom, I happened to look down and saw two lines! Having never seen two lines before, I just stared at it. Then I took it into the office to where Nick was on the computer and asked him, "How many lines do you see?" Nick said, "Two. How many should there be?" I just stared at him and then he said, "Really??" That's about the time, I started shaking. Of course, I hadn't showered that day (we had put up all our Christmas decorations) so I made Nick go to Kroger's at 11:00 at night to pick up a digital test. Being the smart boy he is, he got a 2-pack. I took the digital test and we both stood over it and watched it. It seemed like forever (although I"m sure it was just a few seconds!) and the word "pregnant" popped up on the little screen!

I told Nick that I had to tell Mom and ran and got the phone. Mom asked if I was serious..haha. Nope, I thought it would be funny to call you at 11:30 at night and tell you I had gotten two positive pregnancy tests! :-) Mom and Dad were so excited for us. Nick and I just kept looking at each other, laughing. I didn't even cry! haha

Of course, things never go that smoothly and over the next few days, I continued to spot. I was terrified something was wrong but when I called the doctor on Monday morning, the receptionist told me it was normal and set my appointment for Dec. 10. It was only Nov 26 and it seemed like forever. However, on Thursday, I was still spotting (and flipping out) so I called the doctor again. They called me back on Friday and told me to come in on Monday for an ultrasound. Nick had an interview in PA on Monday and Tuesday so I went by myself. (Mom offered to go but I didn't want her to have to take time off work.) The tech turned on the u/s machine and I could immediately see the baby (or the blob as it looked on screen..haha). Then she flipped a switch and I could hear the heartbeat!! She printed off two pictures for me to show to Nick.

We went to our first appoitment on Dec. 10th and saw my doctor (Dr. Sosnowski). He was very excited for us. He didn't really do much though. It was too early to hear the heartbeat from the outside but he said everything else seemed normal. My next appointment is Jan. 9th.

Appointment Tomorrow!!

I just verified our appointment tomorrow with Naomi at AL. We are taking a draft of our profile with us and we're hoping she'll look over it and give us suggestions (if needed). I'll be back tomorrow to tell you how it went!

Pictures of Nashville!

Here are just a few of our pictures. They aren't in any particular order.



We went to ICE! We had to put on heavy coats over our own coats and then we got to walk through the scenes from The Grinch carved out of ice. It was amazing! Here is Nick getting ready to take a bite out of the turkey carved in ice.

This is the cake Audra and Matt made for my birthday. Isn't it awesome?? I believe it's called "Happy Beach-day".

We went to Aquarium for my birthday dinner. This is a picture from our table. Yes, that is an aquarium in the far right of the pic. It was huge and was floor to ceiling in the middle of the restaurant.

This is the back of Andrew Jackson's mansion on his plantation, The Hermitage.


This is a replica of the Parthenon.

We went to a NHL hockey game, Nashville Predators vs St. Louis Blues. Unfortunately, the Blues won but we did get to see a shoot-out!


This is the front of the Belle Meade. It's another mansion that used to sit on a plantation. However, most of the plantation was sold off. It was beautiful on the inside, all decorated for Christmas.

I'll try to add some more pictures later.

Back from our trip!

We are back from our trip! We had a wonderful, relaxing time! I'll try to post some pictures soon.

Nothing new on the adoption front. Our appointment is still set for Nov. 30th!

A little bummed...

We have an appointment with AL on 11/30 at noon. It seems so far away right now. Of course, the time will fly with Nashville, Thanksgiving and SHOPPING!

Just waiting...

Not much happening. We had to sign a release in order for Rima to transfer our homestudy and that has been done. Now we are just waiting for AL (Adoption Link) to get the homestudy and our application and check. I'll give it a few more days and call them if I haven't heard anything.

We made a decision!

Well, it's official. We picked our agency. It's called Adoption Link and it's out of Yellow Springs, OH. We sent in our application this morning and requested that Rima send them our homestudy. After we are approved, we will meet with one of their social workers and finish our profile. Then we'll be a waiting family. Rima is leaving soon to go to India for her sister's wedding and to visit family. She'll be gone most of November so I hope we can get all of our information transfered to Adoption Link before she leaves! It's hard for agencies to give you a timeframe on how long you will have to wait to be matched since the birthmom picks the adoptive family. However, we were told by the director that other families who have the same preferences as ours usually wait less than 9 months.

So here's where we are at...

Wow.. I didn't realize it had been so long since I've updated! So here is where we are at in the process. We went to Rima's on Friday to sign our homestudy. It is officially done and can be sent to any agency at any time we ask.

On Saturday we went to the Adoption Fair at the Vineyard Church in Tri-County. There were a lot of different agencies, lawyers, adoption services, etc. with booths set up and loads of information. We spoke with someone from Adoption Link and with Graceworks. We think we are going to go with either one or both of these agencies. Nick and I are going to sit down tonight and compare the two and write up a list of questions we have for both agencies. Then tomorrow, I'll call them both and get our answers. Then we can decide what we are going to do and just do it! :-)

We printed our profile off last week and had a copy of it made for Rima. Once we pick an agency, one of their social workers will sit down with us and help us conform it to their standard profile. I'm pretty confident that we won't have to do much else with it though!

Hopefully I will be back very soon to let you know what agency we decided to work with!

ALMOST DONE!!!

The picture part of our profile is done!!! Nick is going to have them printed off tonight while I'm in class tonight. We have to finish our dear birthmom letter and then buy something to put them all together! I am so excited to get it all finished!

Nothing new going on yet!

I just wanted to check in and let you know that nothing new is going on. We are still working hard to get our profile completed. We have 4 pages completely done, about 6 are a work in progress and we have about 12 more to go!! But I'm almost finished gathering pics so that makes everything go a lot faster!!

I'll be back as soon as I have something new to add! :-)

One of my worst fears nearly happened today

I know this blog is supposed to be about our adoption, but I just had to write about this. I periodically check the news while at work in case anything major is going on in the world. I was on wlwt.com and saw a breaking news headline about a child bringing a gun on the bus. I always read these because one of my worst fears is opening an article and seeing that school/school bus is in Mt. Healthy. (I taught at Rex Ralph Elementary in the Mt. Healthy school district for 3 years.) The article said that a 3rd grader at Duvall Elementary (in Mt. Healthy) brought a loaded gun on the bus and pointed it at 12 students that were on board. Rex Ralph Elementary was moved to Duvall Elementary two years after I left... so that's where a lot of my former co-workers (and some of them still good friends) work!! Luckily no was hurt. I am so thankful it wasn't worse and I pray that this child only brought the gun to show off or to "be cool". I hope he never intented to use it. This is particularly scary after the recent Cleveland shooting where the gunman specifically targeted teachers and the discovery of the Pennsylvania teen who was planning a "Columbine" shooting. Guess how he got some of his guns?? His mom. What is going on?!?!

Just working on profile...

Just wanted to write and say that nothing new is going on at this point. I'm still trying to gather pictures and need a day to just sit down and work on it! :-)

Thank you to everyone who helped/is helping us gather pictures. You have no idea how much I/we appreciate it!

Our homestudy is complete!!

I am so relieved it's all over!!! Rima came back yesterday and finished our home visits. This time I had to talk all about my life and then there was more discussion about us as a couple, religion, etc. Now all that has to be done is to type it up (Rima does that.) We have to work on our profile which consists of a Dear Birthmom letter and lots of pictures. I was given a terrific example so we are in the process of gathering pictures.

For the next day and a half, I'm going to have to try not to think about adoption and study for my mid-term!

Day 1 Complete!

Our first day of the homestudy is complete. Rima will be back tomorrow to finish the homevisits. The first part of the morning, we went over our training. She asked us some questions regarding the training and then asked if we had any questions for her. The majority of the morning was Nick giving him background history. He told about his family, his education, his work history and his relationship with me. I will do the same tomorrow. Then Rima did our safety audit (by walking around the townhome.) That was about it. I didn't realize how exhausting it all was until she left and I fell asleep on the couch!

I'll let you know how tomorrow goes!

This is it!!

In 2 hours our homestudy will be underway. Our townhome looks pretty good and we've gone over all of our training materials again. I'm not really nervous, just anxious to get it over with!

I was talking to Scharlene on the phone last night and walked into the laundry room to get a stack of towels that were on the dryer. I had just started a load of laundry and when I walked in the laundry room, I stepped in a huge puddle of water! Isn't that just my luck?!?! Nick helped me clean it up and we tried to see where the water was coming from. I called Mom and Dad who were at a nearby mall and they stopped by to take a look at it. We still can't find the problem but the water is cleaned up. I guess I better go check it again to make sure the floor is still dry. I don't think a flooding laundry room would give the best impression! :-)

After the homestudy tonight, Scharlene, Philip, Nick and I will be going to me and Scharlene's 10th year class reunion. I can't believe it's already been 10 years! I'm not sure what to expect, but I hope we have a great time.

I'm not sure what time Rima will leave but if I have time before we leave for the reunion, I'll be back to tell you all about it. If not, I'll be back tomorrow morning.

Wish us luck! :-)

Another situation...

Rima sent me another situation just a few minutes ago. The baby is already here but the birthmom would like a family near California. Since Ohio isn't exactly close, we don't have much of a shot. :-) Plus, they want someone with their homestudy completed (and ours is sooo close, but not there yet.) Wow... it's such a strange feeling knowing that somewhere, a birthmom might be carrying our baby and we just haven't been matched yet. Even though I don't know her yet, she's in my prayers every night.

Tomorrow is the BIG DAY!

Tomorrow at 10am, Rima will be at our home to complete our homestudy. She initially said that it would take 2 days but since Nick and I have finished most of the training already, it may only take one day. But if she needs the 2nd day, she's coming back Sunday morning. Either way, our portion of the homestudy will be completed by the end of the weekend! She said it takes about a week to type everything up!

The next step will be to complete our profile. I've been trying to gather pictures that we want to use, but we don't have many pictures of both me and Nick. Most of the time, I'm the one taking the pictures so I have lots of Nick. I, however, avoid the camera so there aren't many of me or of us together. If you happen to have any of us together, could you please let me know??

My best friend's neighbor has been through this process before and has offered to help me put our profile together. (She and her husband now have an adorable baby boy!!) I can't wait to have it finished and ready to send out to potential birthmoms/parents!

Not much too report

Not much adoption-related info to post about. We need to read through our training materials again before Rima comes on Saturday.

Nick and I were in Louisville all weekend. Nick's mom had surgery Friday and the recovery has been rough so far. I really hope she's feeling better today but I haven't heard yet. I'm waiting for Nick to call me to let me know. Please keep her in your prayers.

What a Relief

My coworker told me yesterday that the birthmom was "forced" to choose another adoptive family. I don't believe it for a minute but I'm relieved. It turned out that it really wasn't a situation that we wanted to be involved in. Isn't it funny how things always work out like that? I was so upset that we couldn't get our homestudy done any faster to make it all work, but I know now that there's a reason we weren't legally ready to adopt.

Great News!!

Rima emailed me and told me that our background checks and Central Abuse Registry checks are back! (And for those who were waiting to find out... we both have clean records!) :-) One more thing off our list! Now we just have to do our home visits next weekend.

Home Visit Scheduled

Yesterday, I decided I needed the day off from thinking about adoption. I decided I wasn't going to talk about it, look at my usual websites, email anyone, etc. I wasn't expecting any emails and Nick had already said that he'd make some phone calls today if I needed any to be made. After the last few days on the emotional rollercoaster, I was ready for a break. That lasted until about noon. LOL. I got an email from Sara at Adoption Connection. She told me they had spoke with the birthmom the day before and wasn't sure what she was going to do. I wrote back and told her that I didn't know what she was going to do either but the last I heard, she (the birthmom) was waiting for Nick and I to finish our homestudy so she could look at our profile. However, I also told Sara that stories were being changed and that Nick and I had decided to stop all communication with the birthmom and let Adoption Connection handle it. Sara wrote back and said that she agreed and she'd let us know if and when the birthmom made a final decision. I felt so much better after getting Sara's email.



Then, around 4:00, Rima wrote and said that our first home visit was scheduled for Oct. 6 at 10:00am! We also have to keep Sunday opened as she might be back to do the 2nd and final home visit. It will then take about a week for her to type everything up. If our background checks come in by then, our homestudy will be finished!!

Took a Turn for the Worse

Well, it's not going to happen. All communication between my co-worker and her neice (at least according to my co-worker) has stopped. I'm done asking about it and will just have to accept that it wasn't meant to be. I guess it would have been too easy. It's a huge letdown after all the excitement yesterday but the journey continues...

Very Eventful Day Yesterday

Wow... yesterday was interesting. I was at work and was getting ready to walk across campus for a meeting when one of my co-workers told me she wanted to tell me something. She walked outside with me and told me her niece's friend delivered a baby on Sunday and had decided to give it up for adoption. She had told her about me and Nick and the girl was interested! Apparently, another agency was trying to force the mom to sign the paperwork, but the birthmom wasn't comfortable with the agency and hadn't met the adoptive parents even though she wanted to. She said she felt uncomfortable giving her baby to strangers and would feel better if someone knew the adoptive parents. I told my co-worker that it was awesome but that our homestudy wasn't ready and I didn't know that it would work out logistically (sp?). I told her I would call Adoption Connection when I got back from my meeting. I told her that even if we weren't meant to be the adoptive parents, it was unfair that she was being treated so poorly by the other agency and that I knew that Adoption Connection would take care of her. I'll make a very long story as short as possible.... Adoption Connection said that there wasn't anything we could do unless the mom specifically said she was interested in us by name. They had already received a phone call from the birth mom and the social workers were on the way to the hospital. The birthmom told the social workers that she wanted to know more about Nick and I and they said "no problem". I got an email from Adoption Connection later wanting to know where we were in our homestudy process. I also called Rima and told her the situation and she basically said her hands were tied because even if she completed all of her part of the homestudy, our FBI, BCI and Central Abuse Registry stuff wasn't back yet.

After a thousand phone calls, emails and near panic attacks, yesterday ended with even more questions than answers. My co-worker's niece was going to go visit the birthmom last night and tell her that if she wanted us to adopt her baby, that she needed to tell Adoption Connection that and see if they would work with us to make it happen. If they weren't willing to work with us, we might be able to pull it off through private adoption. However, I also wanted to make it perfectly clear to the birthmom that if she chose to look at other families, that we were 100% okay with that... it was whatever she wanted/felt comfortable with. The baby (a boy) was born 2 months early and is in the NICU. As much as I hate to say it, that may be our only saving grace. If he stays in the hospital, that would give us time to get all of our stuff done. If he doesn't stay in the hospital and our paperwork isnt' done, then he would have to go into foster care until our homestudy was complete. My co-worker was suppose to call me last night to tell me what happened when her niece went to see the birthmom and she didn't. I'm not sure what that means.

I'll post more as I know it. Please keep the birthmom and the baby in your prayers. Even if it doesn't work out, I pray that the mom gets the help she needs and the baby is placed in a family who would love him like I know our family would!

Got 2 reference letters in the mail!!

Well, I got reference letters in the mail from the 2 school districts I've taught in. Let's just say that some things never change. The one from Mt. Healthy was an entire paragraph long about how my teaching and how they were sad when I left the district. The one from Richard Allen was 2 sentences long. I'm so happy to know that I left in "good standing." (note the sarcasm in that statement!) I didn't expect anything more from them though. They are as corupt as they come. I could start a whole new blog on that subject!

Nick and I also received our second training yesterday and read though it this morning. No word yet on when our home visits will take place yet. I'm going to email Rima to let her know that we've finished reading the training and ask about the dates.

Oh My Gosh

I was looking over the list of paperwork we have to gather and we are so close to being done with it!
*We have to wait for our background checks to come back.
*We also have to wait for our Central Abuse Registry reports to come back.
*We have to sign a paper that Rima needs to give us (but all we have to do is read and sign.)
*I have to receive my job references in the mail.
*I need to make a copy of our fire escape plan (that Nick and I drew up last night... that was not fun!)
*We have to get Nick's medical paper back.
*We have to wait to get his new Social Security card in the mail (he couldn't find his so he had to order a new one!)
*We have to copy Nicks SS card and driver's license.
*We also have to get our safety audit done, but that's done during our homestudy visits.

I can't believe that's it!! Wow! Most of the stuff left is either copying, signing or just waiting!

We passed!

Nick just called and we passed our fire inspection... one more thing we can cross off our list!

Wow... I can't believe it's been almost a week since I wrote last! I'm going to have to get better at this! There really isn't too much that has gone on in regards to adoption. Nick and I got our fingerprints done last Saturday. Our fire inspection is this morning... I hope we pass! Nick is suppose to call me when the fire marshal leaves.

Other than that, we've just been gathering more paperwork. My doctor filled out my medical report and Nick is dropping his off the morning. I know that will be done soon because we have connections... right Mom? haha Even though I've made contact with all of my job references, I haven't received any yet. If I don't receive them by next week, I guess I'll start making 2nd phone calls.

As excited as we were to receive the birthmom situations last Friday, we decided we could not afford the price with that particular agency ($22,000). It was very hard to write that email, but Rima reassured us that there would be more situations that would be more appropriate for us. I also emailed Adoption Connections and let them know that after our homestudy was completed, we'd most likely be sending in our application. Sara, the director, wrote back telling us how excited she was about that.

Nick and I also looked at cribs and car seats this past weekend. We found some that we really like, however, we'll probably be doing most of our looking/shopping online. It was still just too hard to see all of those pregnant women shopping at the stores. I felt I needed to tell everyone, "We're adopting so that's why we're here." (I know, it's silly.) Hopefully, this is just something that will pass with time.

Rima also emailed yesterday and thinks we are ready for our home visits. We have to decide on dates for this.

Update

Another productive day, yea!! We received our first set of training material and sat down and read through it tonight. We emailed Rima to let her know we finished reading it and to find out what was next.

I also called the remaining 3 places of employment where I've worked with children. Everyone has been so nice and it's gone much better than I had thought it would! As soon as I say that we are adopting, everyone turns to mush.. haha.

We also got a rather exciting email from Rima today. She sent us 4 situations. Situations are brief stories/circumstances about birthmoms. Rima wanted to know if any of the situations were something we were interested in. If so, to email her back and she would expedite our homestudy (Goodness... I don't know if we can go any faster!!). I was wondering why we would have to expedite it and quickly found the reason... some of the birthmoms were due in the next month!! I had a brief panic attack and the quote I received yesterday popped in my head: "Fear not tomorrow, for God is already there." There are very few circumstances that would cause Nick and I to turn down a situation and unfortunately, those circumstances were in 3 of the 4 situations. It's so awesome to know that Rima is already looking for us! It has motivated us to work even faster to get our documents together. Nick and I sat down and went through the list again and got a few more items checked off.

It's going to be a busy day tomorrow. We are going to get our fingerprints for the BCI/FBI checks and then finish getting the upstairs unpack and clearing out the room that will be (hopefully soon!) the nursery. I think Mom and Dad are going to come down Sunday evening to help us hang our curtains and pictures. I can't wait to get it all done!

What a morning

Two days ago, I finally hit 100,00 miles on my poor Corolla. I was so sure something would happen on that day, but instead, it happened today. I was on 275 heading to 74 when I got my first flat tire! Thank heavens for AAA! They were there pretty quickly and changed it for me. Luckily, the mechanic said it could be repaired. Nick, who is the best husband ever, let me have his car and he is taking care of it for me.

Someone sent me an email today that said, "Fear not tomorrow, for God is already there." Wow... how powerful is that?!?!

We actually got a lot accomplished yesterday with our list of documents. The fire marshall is coming next Thursday to do a fire inspection. We are both going Saturday to get our fingerprints for the BCI and FBI checks. Nick filled out our financial statement and I made copies of our birth certificates and marriage license. I also called Richard Allen and talked with the principal and she is writing me a recommendation. Today, I need to call the other 3 places where I've worked with kids. This weekend, we have to finish unpacking the upstairs and start hanging pictures and curtains. Should be fun! :-)

Just talked to Rima

Well, I just talked to Rima. She is going to send us a few things that need to be filled out. She is also going to send us some of the training material that we have to read and questions that we have to answer before we meet with her. She told me she's already called one agency that places infants and told them that we would be ready in about a month!!

She also told me that I have to have reference from all of my employers where I have worked with children. So I'm going to have to call both Richard Allen and Mt. Healthy and then I'll have to call the daycare I worked at while I was in college and the one in Lexington where I was employed for a whole 8 weeks! Those should be some interesting phone calls. :-)

Paperwork

Oh my gosh, there is so much paperwork to gather that it's hard to even know where to start! Here is a list of what we have to have:
-BCI and FBI background checks
-affidavit of "no-criminal" statement (I have no idea what this is!)
-fire inspection (has to be done by the fire marshall)
-copy of our fire escape route plan (ummm.. is our plan to just get outside good enough? haha)
-medicals for both of us
-copy of our birth certificates
-copy of our marriage license
-copy of our tax return from 2006
-employment verification for both of us
-releases of information
-residency verification
-a financial statement (that won't take long..haha.. just kidding!)
-copy of our social security cards
-copy of our driver's licenses
-copy of automobile insurance
-our safety audit (done by the agency)
-central abuse registry check (also done by the agency)

Alright.. I'm off to start finding this stuff! :-) I mean... I'm off to start working (since I am at work after all..haha)

I'll let you know if I learn anything after I talk to Rima in a little bit.

We've Been Approved!!

Rima called this afternoon and told us our applicaton was approved! I'm suppose to call her tomorrow morning and discuss paperwork and decide when to do our training! Let our homestudy begin!!

The Check Is In The Mail

haha... This time, I really mean it! :-) Nick mailed our application and check this morning! Rima emailed me yesterday and told me she'd call as soon as she reviewed it. Hopefully, that will be sometime next week.

Nick and I are going to take advantage of the 3 day weekend to get things organized and figure out how we are going to gather all the documents we need. We're also heading north to Uncle Steve and Aunt Brenda's for a picnic! Aunt Marilyn is here from Texas and we can't wait to see her and everyone else!

Have a great holiday weekend!

Application Finished!!

We acheived one of my goals from yesterday... we finished the application. We are mailing it first thing tomorrow morning. I'll let you know when we hear something from Rima!! :-)

Working on the application

Not much to update. We are still working on the application. Unfortunately, we just haven't had a chance to sit down and fill it out together. My goal is to complete it tonight and get it in the mail tomorrow!

And we are off...

Nick and I have decided to do the training and homestudy with A Center for Homestudies and Placement Services. They are less expensive and can do it much quicker than our other options. We haven't made a concrete decision on who we are going to "wait" with, but it could possibly be both agencies we met with.

I contacted the director (Rima) at A Center for Homestudies and Placement Services and she told me that we just needed to send in our application and fee. She said she'd contact us when she approved us but that she didn't see any reason not to approve us! So that's our next step.. getting the application filled out and to begin gathering all the paperwork. Rima seemed to think that we could have the whole homestudy process (including training) done in a little over a month. Who knows, maybe we'll be a waiting family by mid-October!

Decisions, decisions

Nick and I had our second agency meeting yesterday afternoon. This one was with Adoption Connections in Blue Ash. They are part of the Jewish Family Services. We met with the agency director, Sara. She was really nice and VERY knowledgable. While most of the steps are the same, their fees and timeframes are a little different. They require $250 in order to submit your application. After you are approved, you begin submitting a lot of the paperwork (most of it is the same as the other agency since it's Ohio requirements). Then you wait for the classes/training to start. Unfortunately, they just started a new class last week so we'd have to wait for another one. She said someone just asked the other day when the next one would start and she said "probably April or May"!! She said but they might have one in January. (Which is still too long for us to wait.) After the classes, they do the homestudy interviews. Oh yeah, I forgot to mention the fees. At the first training class, you pay $625 and at the first homestudy visit you pay another $625. So in total, for the application and homestudy, they charge $1500. After the homestudy is complete, you are then a "waiting family." Due to our adjusted gross income from last year, our placement fee is $10,000. At the time you begin the waiting family, you pay 2/3 of that ($6,667). The rest is due after the baby is placed. The really nice thing about Adoption Connection is that you can pay the 2/3 of the placement fee over 12 months. Sara told us that the waiting time right now is about 14-18 months. Of course, the waiting time is different for everyone since the birthmom/birth family picks the adoptive family. So if you are picked the first time a birthmom sees your profile, it could be a really short waiting period. She said thefamily who has currently was been waiting the longest, just hit their 2 year mark. However, she said that if we are willing to accept any race (which we are), the wait could be much shorter. She said they have placed two African-American babies this year. One family was only a waiting family for 3 days and the other family was a waiting family for 1 year.

We learned a very interesting fact yesterday... The adoptive parents cannot take the baby home until the birthmom has terminated her rights. In Ohio, the birth mom cannot terminate her rights for 72 hours. Which means that if the hospital won't keep the baby (and she said that it's getting harder and harder to convince hospitals to let them stay), the baby will go into foster care until the rights have been terminated. Adoption Connections uses two families as foster families. Both are only authorized to foster, not adopt. She said the family they use most often has fostered over 40 babies for them. We would be able to see the baby if that was the case. There is a fee of $16/day that the baby is in foster. She said most only stay a day or so, but if the father is not available to terminate his rights, it could be much longer. (I'll have to wait until another post to write about all the possiblities about the father's rights... it's long!!)

I was hoping we would come away from the two agencies and either know that we needed to talk to more agencies or be able to pick one. But of course, is it ever that easy?!?! haha We both really like both agencies and they both have their pros/cons. We talked about it some over dinner last night but then Nick had to leave as he was volunteering at the Cincinnati Observatory last night. We are going to visit Nick's mom and dad today/tomorrow so we'll have lots of driving time to talk! :-) We do have lots of options because both agencies are very willing to be hired to do different parts. For example, we could do training/homestudy with one and then be a "waiting family" with another. Or we can be a "waiting family" with both. We have decided one thing, we are ready to get started! We plan to start making a list of everything we need and divide it up!

Well, it's time to get ready so we can go see Nick's family. We won't be back until tomorrow evening. Have a great weekend!!

Our first agency

Nick and I had our first appointment and I am so glad it's over!! I was so nervous about going! We met with the director Rima. She is very nice and seems to be a very kind and sweet person. Nick and I really like her. Her process is the same as most agencies. You fill out an application and send it in along with the application fee ($50) and the homestudy fee ($1000). After you are accepted, you begin the Ohio-required 24 hours of training. Rima does the training and it's free if she does your homestudy. After the training is over, the fun part (haha) begins... the homestudy. The homestudy is when she or another assessor comes to the house and makes sure we have room for a child and that our house is safe. The homestudy also includes gathering a million documents as well as writing autobiographies and putting together a profile. She seems to believe that this should take less than 2 months. After our homestudy and profile is complete, she sends out our profile to different agencies that place infants. Once we are matched with a birthmom (or in some cases, after the baby is placed in our care), we would pay that agency's placement fee (typically between $10,000-20,000.) Rima doesn't charge any placement fees on top of that. After the baby is in our care, the state of Ohio requires post-placement visits until finalization, which is approximately 6 months after the baby is placed. Rima's fees for post placement visits is $150/visit and she said they usually have to visit 7-8 times. There is also a $250 pre-finalization cost that, I believe, covers Rima filing court paper work. We would also have to hire an attorney to finish the finalization process. I'm not sure how much that is, but I'll be calling around soon to find out! We asked Rima how long most placements take and she said any where from 1 to 18 months after the homestudy is completed and submitted to various agencies. However, she said since we are willing to accept any race, that it increases the number of places that she will send our homestudy/profile. She gave us information on an agency out of Oregon that places African-American, Hispanic and biracial children. On their information packet, it says the waiting time is approximately 6 months after homestudy approval.

One of our biggest concerns (as I'm sure with all adoptive parents) is actually getting matched and having the birthmom change her mind. In most domestic infant adoptions, the birthmom gets to pick the adoptive parents. Some agencies allows the birthmom to pick a certain number of families and then "interview" them. She can pick one, but also has the opportunity to change her mind about which family later. In other agencies, the birthmom is given profiles that match her preferences and she picks one family from the ones she's given. Rima told us that a little less than 50% of birthmoms change their minds about placing the baby for adoption at all!! I was shocked when she said that. I knew that some did, but I had no idea that the percentage was so high!

I'm sure there is more that I learned and that I'm just forgetting. If anyone has any questions, please feel free to ask. I don't mind telling others what I've learned!

Tomorrow we are going to Adoption Connection in Blue Ash. I'll let you know how it goes! :-)

Oh my gosh...

Could this day move any slower??? I am so nervous about our meeting tonight. I came into work early so I wouldn't have to use vacation hours and the time is crawling by! Nick and I drove to find the place last night. It's in Mason off Fields Ertel Rd. We are meeting at a Steak n Shake near there and driving the rest of the way together. It might be a little late before I can post what happened. I have an appointment with Augie (my personal trainer) at 7:00 so I'll update as soon as I get home from that!

Wish us luck!

Not forgetting to update...

Just nothing new to report. Our first appointment is tomorrow afternoon at 4:00. I'm sure I'll have lots to write then. I've been reading The Complete Adoption Book: Everything You Need to Know to Adopt a Child by Laura Beauvais-Godwin and Raymond Godwin. It's a very long book but it's very informative! It's also a great resource for us to know what questions we should ask. Right now, our two biggest questions are: What is the timeframe for the whole process and what are all the fees/when are they due? I think our decision to adopt a baby of any race will help speed up our placement timeframe... at least I'm hoping. We are really hoping that we will have a baby sometime in the next 9-12 months! I guess we will see how realistic that is tomorrow!

I also started my class last night at NKU. I'm taking an accounting class. (Actually, it's a little funny that I've worked in the accounting department at NKU for over a year now and I'm just taking my first accounting class.) It's definitely not an exciting class, but it'll be nice to have something other than baby-related things to think about!

I'll be back tomorrow to let you know how our first meeting went!!

Wow...

Have you ever sat through a sermon and felt as if the pastor was talking directly to you even though you were in a room full of people?? That happened to me today. Mom and I went to Camden United Methodist Church this morning. The pastor there (Fred Schmidt) has been a wonderful family friend for a long time. (For those of you who were there, he was one of the pastors that did Grandma Lackey's funeral.) His sermon was on doubt. Thoughout the sermon, I kept thinking about all the doubt I have had this past year. I was so ashamed of myself because I wanted to turn all of my infertility struggles over to God, but just couldn't seem to. When I was down and depressed, I was told to have faith and not doubt God. In my heart, I knew that God wouldn't leave me and that no matter what, He was by my side walking with me though it all. Yet, I had doubt. I stopped talking to God about it because I felt like it did no good. Don't get me wrong, I would pray, but I gave up praying about our infertility. I would just leave it out. I was mad because I felt like He wasn't listening. I became more angry when I would hear about children who had been abused or killed. And even in the times when I wasn't angry at Him, I was too ashamed to ask Him to forgive me. At the end of today's sermon, Pastor Fred said that what he wanted us to know is this: It's okay to doubt. It's okay if you seek answers to your doubt. It's not okay to become cynical and just continue to doubt. IT IS BETTER TO STRUGGLE WITH GOD THAN TO NOT TALK TO HIM AT ALL.

I thought I would share this in case someone out there is struggling and needed to hear it! I sure did.

2nd appointment set up

The lady at Adoption Connection emailed me back. We will be meeting with her next Friday at 4:00.

It's really happening!

Well, I thought our first appointment would be next Friday, but I was wrong. Our first appointment is going to be on Thursday at 4:00!! It's with an agency called A Center for Home Studies and Placement Services. Their website is www.adoptionohio.org. I talked to the lady there this morning and she was really nice.

I'm still waiting for Adoption Connection (www.adoptioncincinnati.org) to get back with me on a time for Friday. I called them this morning and the lady I need to talk with has been in training. I'm sure she'll email or call me soon!

From the beginning...

I won't go all the way to the beginning of me and Nick because I don't want to bore you before you even begin reading! :-) I'll just start from when we got married... June 11, 2005. Nick and I knew we wanted to have children although we disagreed on how many and when. I wanted 4 and wanted to start as soon as we were married. Nick thought 3 would be plenty and wanted to wait a year until we started trying. So initially we agreed to wait a year. About 6 months later (helped along by me constantly talking about expanding our family), Nick agreed to start trying. That was in late November 2005. I won't go into all the gory details (although I am more than willing to share my experiences with anyone who asks!) but here is a short synopsis: I saw a doctor in Lexington in May 2006 and she thought since I had already been diagnosed with PCO (Polycystic Ovaries) and wasn't having a regular cycles, we should start fertility treatments. However, before we even had a chance to begin them, we thought we were going to have to move to Washington D.C. We decided to hold off because we weren't sure we'd be able to afford a child or afford to continue fertility treatments in D.C. In June, we found out we were moving to Ohio instead and decided to hold off again and just wait until we moved to start. In early Sept, our insurance finally kicked in and I made an appointment. I tried the fertility drug Clomid for 3 cycles but no luck. Then I did 3 cycles of Clomid + IUI. Again, nothing. My doctor suggested that he do a laproscopic surgery to make sure my tubes were clear and to do zonal drilling (This is also called ovarian drilling.. and yes, they drilled holes in my ovaries!!). So on April 25, I had the surgery and the reports came back great. No blockages and everything looked good. After another negative cycle with Clomid + IUI, I was ready to move on. My doctor referred me to a specialist and Nick and I had an appointment with him. However, an ultrasound showed I had a large cyst on my ovary so I had to go on birth control pills to shrink it. I was devasted. To most people, one month seems like a very short time. To someone who wants nothing more than to conceive a child.. it seems like a lifetime. On August 6th, 2007, I had to call the doctor because my cycle was not starting like it should. I was told to take a pregnancy test and call them the next morning. In my head, I knew what the test would say. I knew that I had been on birth control so there was very little chance that I could be pregnant. I knew that I had no symptoms and that this had happened before and I wasn't pregnant. But my heart just wouldn't seem to listen. I told myself it would be negative the night before, when I woke up and while I was waiting for the test to register. But it still broke my heart when I saw that there was only one line instead of the two.

Throughout all of our fertility treatments, Nick and I discussed adoption. As time marched on, we talked about it more and more because the treatments weren't working. From the time I was referred to my specialist, I was ready to stop the treatments altogether. I was done. I was tired of appointments, ultrasounds, bloodwork, medicines, side effects, having Nick give me shots, the IUIs, the bills because insurance wouldn't cover anything, etc. But I knew that I wasn't the only person involved and Nick wasn't ready to stop trying. On the morning of that pregnancy test, I came out of the bathroom crying and Nick asked what was wrong. I told him and he asked me if I was ready to look more seriously into adoption. When I said yes, he said he was too. We decided to give the medicines one more try. However, my body just wouldn't cooperate and a week later, on Aug 14th, we decided to stop all treatments. I cannot even begin to describe the feeling. I started crying when we made the decision, but it was only partially out of sadness. It was also out of relief. I swear, even my body knew I was done. The day after we made that decision, my cycle started. How's that for timing!

The next day, I began doing research and calling/emailing agencies. There are so many decisions to make that it's overwhelming! We are receiving packets almost daily and we have our first agency appointment next Friday.

So that's where we are. We have decided to adopt. Let this new journey begin...

Just getting started

I was reading a message board today and it suggested that I start a blog starting on the day that we decided to adopt. Because we've already made that decision, I'm a few days behind... but then again, what's new?!? :-) I'm going to write down everything I can remember very soon, but I did want to start writing down dates.

the day we decided to try one more fertility cycle and then adopt: Tuesday, August 7, 2007
day we started contacting agencies: Wednesday, August 8, 2007
day we received our first packet of information: Monday, August 13, 2007
day we decided to stop all fertility treatments and move forward with adoption: Tuesday, August 14, 2007
day we set up first appointment with an agency: Wednesday, August 15, 2007

I'll be back to explain more details later, but it's getting late and I have to get up early tomorrow for work.